Fading Dreams
by Kurarin-san
Summary: First Fanfic, Ichigo x Senna story since they're a bit underrated. Please give it a read even if it's not your OTP. After losing his Shinigami powers, Kurosaki Ichigo starts having nostalgic dreams. Dreams of someone he thinks he has met before, but can't find in his memories. Dreams of someone he may have fallen in love with, but never had the chance to tell her. Read and Review!
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This is my first Fanfic, so please be kind. Constructive criticism is welcome. I think the Senna x Ichigo pairing is underrated, but most of the fanfics about them don't make much sense to me. Honestly, the whole 'Senna Reincarnation' thing doesn't work for me, unless they met in Soul Society. Well, enough about this. Please enjoy the story!**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing. Bleach and all its characters belong to Tite Kubo.**

 **Bold: Senna**

 _Italic: Memories_

*Story Start*

* * *

 _ **"When you're up high, all the stuff that looks confusing and hazy suddenly becomes crystal clear".**_ _I felt nostalgic hearing_ _**her**_ _voice_ , _but I couldn't place where I had heard it before. I turned to look at **her** , but all of a sudden all my surroundings started to faze out like smoke. The last thing I could see was **her** large amber eyes, looking at me with grief. I tried grasping the wisps of smoke desperately, but it was a futile effort._

* * *

I woke up with a start, wanting to scream a name that I couldn't remember. I looked at the digital clock on my bedside and it showed me that it was still 5:23 am. I had been having similar dreams for the past weeks, and my sisters had started worrying for me. My insomnia was starting to take its toll on me. The first night I remember waking up with tears in my eyes, and the remnants of a bittersweet dream. I always forgot what the dream was about, but it left me with mixed feelings. I felt like it reminded me of moments of happiness, but left me with an incomparable feeling of loss, like a part of me was missing. All I could remember was a red colored ribbon.

Since I lost my powers Ishida, Orihime and Chad started treating me like I could break at any moment. It hurt deeply knowing that I couldn't protect anyone, that I couldn't live up to my name anymore; ever since the Aizen threat was gone Urahara, Shinji and the others had picked up the slack, so I didn't have to worry much on that front. I knew that Ishida and the others could handle themselves even against Espadas after their training, so the common hollows wouldn't be a problem.

Tatsuki was the only one who noticed any actual change in me, after all she was my childhood friend and knew me better than anyone else.

I decided to wash up and go for an early Jog, to get rid of all my restlessness after the dream. I started some stretches outside my house and started running, enjoying the chill of Karakura's morning air. I kept going around the neighborhood, and decided that a change in scenery might do me some good.

* * *

I passed by the riverside, where I used to spend my days after my mother died, and decided a quick rest wouldn't hurt. I wasn't feeling any physical strain, but the run didn't help me that much in blowing off steam. My mind kept drifting to the dream I had in the morning. I could never remember any of those dreams, but I felt they were important and related to a promise. The frustration of them slipping away kept me from going back to sleep every single time.

After a few minutes I decided to go home and start preparing for the day. It was a weekday, and since the loss of my powers I started to focus on my life in the world of the living. I had almost passed Ishida in the midterm rankings, and everyone looked at me with surprised eyes. I was never dumb, and my orange hair did give everyone the impression of me being a punk. Ochi-sensei knew not to judge me from my looks, and when in a couple of the tests I got a higher score than anyone in my class (beating even Ishida) she just looked at me with pride: not surprise, like most teachers and classmates.

When I got home I saw that my father was awake. He sent me a questioning glance, but decided to remain silent.

My father had always doted on the girls, but he never knew how to grow up a son. I was a momma's boy as well, and when mother died my father was already overwhelmed with his grief and in trying to comfort the twins. I was not actually left on my own, but I had decided to distance myself from my father, because I thought he would be blaming me for the death of my mother. He never did, but I still felt the guilt.

I heard Yuzu come downstairs, and heard Karin in the bathroom washing up. I started feeling a bit sleepy, even though I slept more than usual tonight. In the past week I felt like sleeping more than 5 hours was a gift from the Soul King.

"Ichi-nii, are you still having trouble sleeping?" she asked.

"It's nothing to worry over Yuzu, I just woke up and felt like a jog. I'm gonna rinse and come for breakfast. Do you know how long it will take Karin to finish?"

Just as I finished my sentence Karin appeared behind me, leisurely with a towel on top of her damp hair.

"Morning Ichi-nii, Yuzu. What's for breakfast?" She said as she appeared behind me.

"The curry leftover from yesterday is a bit too heavy for breakfast, so I'm gonna use it for our Obentos. For breakfast I was gonna prepare some miso soup, with rice and grilled fish. Would you like something else Karin?" asked Yuzu

I tuned out their conversation while I started heading upstairs to get my uniform, and once into the bathroom I then basked in the warmth of the shower. I hoped that maybe staying under running water might help me wake up. The moment I started feeling drowsy while under the hot water I started thinking that I should probably get myself checked up from my father. I turned off the shower, and stepped out on the cold bathroom floor. The moment my foot touched the ground though I started slipping. My reflexes would've usually saved me from this, but the combination of the awkward position and my tiredness didn't help. I knew the fall was gonna be a hard one, so I braced myself.

"Fu-" I lost consciousness before I could finish cursing, and the last thing I saw was worried amber eyes.

* * *

 **AN: Short, I know. I don't actually know where I'm heading with this, but if it gets good reception I might actually think through a plot. It's the first time I actually wrote something, since usually I'm on your side of the screen reading. After so many years of reading the same fanfictions over and over again while waiting for the new ones to get updated, you get bored. Please review and let me know how I went! Thanks.**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: So.. a bit earlier than I thought. sorry of the chapter is a bit rushed or incomplete. I didn't actually sleep since I posted the last chapter. I felt like ti wasn't explaining much about what I had in mind, and I still don't think I sent the message through with this chapter, but I did my best. Please read and review!**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing. Bleach and all its characters belong to Tite Kubo.**

 **Bold: Senna**

 _Italic: Memories_

*Story Start*

* * *

 **"Ichigo.. when will you remember me?"** I could hear **_her_** voice. I tried looking around me, but all I could see was darkness. I tried pinpointing from where **_her_** voice was coming from, to no avail. "Who are you?!" I shouted.

At my question, I could feel a pair of slender arms wrapping around me. I tried catching a glimpse of **_her_** , but the grip made me unable to properly turn around, so I just eased and relaxed in the awkward hug. It felt reassuring, and comforting.

 **"I'm sorry about what happened Ichigo.. I pushed too hard and got you injured because of my impatience".**

Was **_she_** the reason I fainted? Wasn't she just a dream? "What.. what do you mean?" I inquired.

 **"Ichigo, can you remember the ribbon you gave me?".**

I couldn't quite picture what **_she_** was talking about, until I recalled the few details I could remember of the dreams. It was strange, how the memories of the dreams were slowly coming all together. He could remember giving a small gift to **_her_** , but not much else. **"The only reason I'm still alive is because of you, Ichigo. Because even though your soul was forced to forget about me, your heart never did".**

At that moment I could feel **_her_** arms unfolding around me. I turned around, only to get captivated by **_her_** eyes. Amber colored eyes full of affection. **_Her_** purple hair was undone, hanging around **_her_** face. **_She_** was wearing a light-brown shirt, with a brown skirt and maroon tie. **_Her_** face looked worried, but **_she_** looked happy.

"It's time to wake up Ichigo". **_She_** gave me a light push, that made me start falling on my back. I didn't feel in danger, as I felt like **_she_** wouldn't ever hurt me.

 **"Remember me this time.. idiot".** I heard **_her_** mutter the last part.

* * *

I slowly opened my eyes, and found myself in my room. My head couldn't stop pounding. It was like a sledgehammer was hitting my skull from the inside.

"How are you feeling Ichigo?" asked Isshin with his usual booming voice as he came inside the room.

"Please lower your voice, Oyaji" I managed to get out with a wince.

"Thankfully I was the one that came upstairs to check up on you. I wonder what your sisters would have thought after seeing how much their brother grew up" he said jokingly. I couldn't help but feel embarrassed, but my headache made me grimace, making the red in my cheeks dissipate.

"Jokes aside, what happened? I know you haven't been sleeping well, but slipping in the shower? You were never this clumsy Ichigo, I'm worried".

"I'm alright Oyaji, I just felt a bit drowsy and slipped". I replied

"How strong is your headache Ichigo? Are you feeling nauseous?"

"I'm alright Oyaji, just let me get changed and head to school". As soon as I tried to get up, my father forcefully laid me back down. I started to protest, but the look he gave me made me stop on my tracks.

"You received a mild concussion when you hit your head on the wall. The twins were worried sick after you passed out, but I convinced them to go to school and check up on you when they come back. I took the liberty to inform the school that you're not coming. I can tell your friends if you want, so they might come to check up on you as well after school".

"It's nothing to worry about, Goat-Face. I just slipped in the shower, there's no need to inform everyone about it" I replied.

"They're your friends, Ichigo. They have the right to worry".

I waved him off, telling him I didn't feel like having visits. It would make me feel pretty awkward, without thinking about what my old comrades might say. Yes, I lost my powers, but that didn't mean I became defenseless or a damsel in distress, dammit!

"I'm also ordering you bed rest and no strenuous activities for at least 24 hours. I don't want to risk anything".

"I said I'm alright Goat-Face! Stop treating me like I'm one of your patients!" I argued back.

"Ichigo, until I know if your concussion is serious, I want you to rest".

He handed me a couple of pills and a glass water.

"These are painkillers, they should help with that headache. Now take them and rest, I don't want to see you awake when I come back" he said as he left the room and headed towards the clinic.

".. thanks.. Oyaji" I said quietly, but I was sure that he heard me.

I swallowed the pills with a gulp of water, and laid on my bed. I could remember the dream. The headaches were a bad side effect, but I could remember **_her_**. I could remember _**her**_ smile, **_her_** eyes, and **_her_** voice. Was it because of the concussion? My thoughts were a bit jumbled, and the headache was not helping me in the matter. I decided to think about it once I woke up again.

As I closed my eyes I whispered "What's your name?"

I felt someone answering, as softly as a mote of dust falling through.

 **"My name is S-"**

I couldn't hear the rest before I blacked out from my tiredness.

* * *

I woke up late in the afternoon. My headache had subsided, and I was feeling much more well rested. My eyes trailed down the side of my bed, and the sight of my sisters curled up against the mattress warmed up my heart. As I was about to get up I heard a knock on the door.

"Come in" I called.

As the door opened I was able to catch a glimpse of the person. I realized I was hoping it to be someone else once I saw the mop of black hair, and not violet.

"What brings you here 'Suki?"

"What's with the disappointed look? After I went through the trouble of bringing you your missing notes and the homework due to tomorrow. Ochi-sensei is really strict when it comes to homework. Are you still feeling sick?"

"I get that, but sensei is one of the few that does her job for the students, and not for the money. My headache passed a while ago, Oyaji game me some painkillers this morning. Did my father ask you to come here?"

"No, I just got worried. I might have made Orihime tag along, but I've seen how you treat her after you discovered her feelings for you, so I decided to refrain. How are you really, Ichigo?" asked Tatsuki.

"Nothing really gets past you huh.. 'Suki?" at my remark she lightly punched my arm, giving me a slightly offended look.

"I've known you since we were four. If I didn't notice something was wrong with you what kind of friend would I be?!" She responded.

"About Orihime... could you please tell her I don't see her that way?"

"Why don't you man up and tell her yourself? Don't you owe her at least that much?" She glared at me.

"It's just that.. since the loss of my powers things have not been the same between me and the others".

Her eyes gained a sympathetic look. She struggled to imagine what it would be like to have the power to defend all your loved ones, just to lose part of your soul so suddenly. Rukia and Urahara had explained to her what a Zanpakuto really was, and it was at that moment that she really understood how much Ichigo had sacrificed to save Karakura.

"Do you want to talk about it?" asked Tatsuki.

I mouthed 'later' to her as I felt the twins stirring up beside me.

"Sorry girls, did we wake you?" I asked them as they rubbed the sleep out of their eyes.

"Ichi-nii!" They both cried out as soon as they regained their bearings, and started hugging me.

"Easy girls, Ichigo just woke up. It's better to give him some space and let him breathe".

"Tatsuki nee-chan? What are you doing here?" asked Karin, while her twin sister was busy hanging on Ichigo's neck.

"I just came by to talk to your brother. Can I ask you girls to leave us alone for a couple of minutes?"

The twins gave me a longing look.

"We waited the whole day to talk to you Ichi-nii! It's not fair!" Yuzu started overreacting.

I hugged both my sisters, even as Karin was slightly resisting just for appearance's sake.

"Don't worry, I'm gonna spend the rest of the evening with you girls, so just give me a few minutes with Tats, alright?"

Yuzu reluctantly nodded, abandoned her brother's embrace and left the room with her sister.

"Let's cut to the chase Ichigo. What's wrong with you?" asked a worried Tatsuki.

"It's an idiocy, I seriously don't want you to start doubting my sanity"

"We've met Shinigami, remember? You fought a god-wannabe, what else could make me doubt I am any less sane than you?"

"It's just that.. I've been having these weird dreams lately. I could never remember them, but I was certain they weren't only dreams. I felt like they were memories".

"Like.. nightmares?" Tatsuki enquired.

"They're not really nightmares.. it's just hard to explain. It's like there's someone in my dreams who Is trying to communicate with me. I know it can't be my Zanpakuto or anything spiritual-related, since I completely lost my reiryoku".

"Are you sure about that?"

"I went to see Urahara-san when the dreams first started. I asked him to check if there was something wrong with me but he said that since he couldn't get a single reiryoku sample from me due to my lack of it, it was highly unlikely that it was a soul related problem".

"Could they be memories of your past incarnations? Or maybe something to do with parallel universes?"

I bit back a laugh "You've been reading way too much manga 'Suki".

We started grinning at that, and she lightly punched my shoulder.

"You can't blame me when our lives resemble a manga from Shonen Jump" she said with a smile.

An awkward silence ensued for a couple of minutes, and it was Tatsuki who broke the silence.

"What were the dreams about?"

It took me a couple of minutes to come up with proper words to describe what I was experiencing, and I was still lacking.

"I feel like they're memories, not just dreams. I feel like I forgot someone who was really important to me".

"How can you be so sure they're not just dreams? Could it be that you hit your head a bit too hard?"

"I doubt it Tatsuki. These.. visions. These memories.. are too vivid to be fake, or imagined".

"Is there a common factor between these dreams?" She asked.

"There's always this woman. All I can remember right now are her eyes. She keeps trying to reach me, but every time we get close she disappears. Sometimes she dissolves in smoke, other times in fall leaves. Her eyes are of a beautiful shade of Amber.."

"It might be that what you're having are future memory, not past. Ichigo... do you think you might have feelings towards her?"

"'Suki, I'm sure she is part of my past. I think I rememb-" my breathing stopped.

A memory resurfaced, and I saw **_her_** figure surrounded by a golden glow. **_Her_** visage was full of tears, and it brought a pang of pain through my heart. I felt myself being suspended a dozen feet above a body of water, garbed in my shinigami robes.

 **"If the world ended, you'd disappear too. I don't want that to happen. I'd rather sacrifice myself than let you die!"**

 ** _Her_** words full of emotion echoed in my mind.

" _SENNA_!" I cried out her name, and I almost lost my footing when the scenery changed back to that of my room.

Tatsuki hurried to help me stay upright, her eyes scanning the frantic look on my face.

"Are you sure you're alright Ichigo? I thought you were having a seizure for a moment!"

I remained mute, my vocal chords failing on me. I successfully suppressed a whimper.

"I think she's dead Tatsuki. I think she sacrificed herself, to save me. I failed to protect my loved ones again".

Tatsuki hugged me tightly, trying to take me out of my funk.

"Ichigo, don't be so hard on yourself. If she's appearing in your dreams then maybe she might not be as dead as you thought, so don't give up yet". I nodded, even if I didn't completely believe her. But still, there must've been a reason for her presence in his dreams. Maybe something that might've triggered these visions he saw in his sleep... before these dreams he never remembered even meeting her. The void in his heart though was still there: he just didn't know she was the reason.

"We will figure it out together, so for now sleep. You're still under orders of bed rest".

"Yes ma'am!" I mocked her.

"Don't be such a smartass, or I'm gonna sic two worried sisters on you!" She warned.

"You wouldn't dare" I managed to whisper.

I knew I shouldn't have tempted fate when I saw her smirk at my last remark as she headed towards the twins' room.

"Karin, Yuzu! Your big brother is not following the doctor's orders!"

I immediately felt fear creep up in my spine, as suddenly I could see from the doorframe the silhouettes of my dear sisters.

The smile on my usually kind sister reminded me of a certain Gotei 13 Taicho, as it sent shivers to my spine.

"Ichi-nii, you weren't about to do anything that might worsen your health, right?" said Yuzu while slowly walking closer to me, with a sickening sweet smile on her face.

I looked at Karin in search for help, but she just avoided my gaze and took a couple of frightful steps back from her twin sister.

"You're on your own this time, Ichi-nii!" she said as she ran away from the conversation.

"Don't worry Yuzu, Tatsuki was just kidding. I'm feeling a bit tired, do you mind if I go to sleep? I'm not really feeling up for dinner tonight, and I know you always do your best to prepare dinner for all of us. Is it alright if I eat maybe later tonight or tomorrow morning?"

"Ichi-nii, you need to take better care of yourself. I'm going to make you some rice porridge, since it might be easier for you to digest. Follow Otou-san's indications, alright? We're worried for you".

"Alright Yuzu, I'm looking forward to dinner then. I'm just gonna take.. a quick...nap" I tried saying as a yawn burst through my mouth in the middle of my sentence.

Yuzu just switched the lights off and left me to my light slumber, as I slowly dozed off...

* * *

 **AN: I don't think the next chapter will come as soon as this one, or if it will be of the same lenght. I hope you enjoyed, please leave a review. Constructive criticism is well accepted, and positive reviews are welcome. Have a great day!**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: I apologise for the long wait. Became unemployed and I'm not that much of a writer. Still, like I said I'm making it up as I go and don't really have many ideas, so if you have one feel free to pm me and we can discuss it. Enjoy! I know it's really short, but I still need to come up on where to go with this.**

* * *

 _ **"Ichigo, I have a favour to ask"**_ _said Senna, as I led her through the riverbank on my back._

 _ **"I want to check on my family grave"**_ _._

 _That's all I really needed to know, as I began walking towards the cemetery. I didn't think that knowing this would be the last moments we spent together would be so painful. I should have been thankful that we would be able to spend her last moments together, but instead I was just filled with regret and sorrow. We spent the walk in silence, just basking in each other's presence, knowing that I would be there for her until the end. I walked through the gates of the cemetery, and I could feel Senna's grip loosen a bit._

 _ **"I said it was here yesterday, right?"**_ _Senna asked. She felt me nod as her head was laying on my shoulder._

 _ **"I used to live in this town, I know it."**_ _She said, more to herself as an assurance than telling me._

 _"I know" is all I could respond, trying to convey trust in my voice._

 _ **"Like I said, I had a family. I was alive, so my name must be on the grave too"**_ _._

 _"Here right?" I said as I came to a stop. I could feel Senna's grip around my shoulders gradually getting weaker, but didn't find it in myself to say anything about it._

 _ **"Four stones to the end"**_ _. I kept on walking and crouched to the grave._

 _ **"Is there a name? I've got something in my eye..."**_ _._

 _I knew she couldn't see anymore, but couldn't bear to tell me._

 _ **"Is it there?"**_ _She asked me in such a heartbreaking voice. It was desperate. Desperate to prove that she had once lived, that she was once alive. She wanted to believe that she was real, and so were her memories. I couldn't bring myself to tell her the truth._

 _"Yeah, it is". For me she was still a person. She had her own identity and sense of self. She was as real as I was. I couldn't deny her that._

 _I stood up from the grave_

 _"You used to live in this town and you had a family" I kept on reassuring her. I wanted her to feel like she belonged here._

 _ **"I'm so happy"**_ _she said, as tears started streaming down from her eyes. I could tell that she was truly relieved, and felt a pang of guilt for lying to her. But if she felt happy, that's all that mattered to me._

 _ **"I feel warm... I'll see you again, right?"**_ _Senna asked, with a bittersweet tone. We both knew we wouldn't, but we couldn't say that to each other. My heart was aching, and my lungs felt heavy. I did my best to not project how I was feeling._

 _"Don't be dumb, of course you will" I was able to mutter. I didn't trust my voice to say much more. She was dying._

 _As my back started feeling lighter, and the feeling of being embraced vanished, I fell to my knees. This was it. In a few scarce moments Senna would disappear completely. Both from the world and my memories. I could feel Rukia coming closer, but my mind right now was racing._

 _"The Blank's energy is about to run out Ichigo, and everything related to Senna will disappear from our memories." said Rukia_

 _"One can't remember something that shouldn't have existed in the first place" she tried explaining to me._

 _I could still feel Senna's spirit particles in the air, even if she was not here anymore. In a desperate attempt I reached out with my Reiryoku, trying to see if I could somehow keep her alive. In my head I hoped it would work like a blood transfusion, but I did something else instead. I could feel a special connection to.. to who? I can feel her.. who is she? As I tried to remember I could feel my memories being wiped out gradually. Her smile, her eyes. I felt Rukia look at me._

 _Why were we in this cemetery?_

 **AN2: I hope this fixed the problem.**

 **PS: I apologise again for the formatting mistake, thank you for pointing it out.**


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